MERRY ME & MYSELF VINGA, VA, IT’S EASY, SAY: PERDÓ by La Fatxa

Dear readers,
We’re living the Christmas time. Are you specially sensible? Or are you going crazy looking for the gifts? Or frenetic because your credit cards are pouring smoke out? He, he, he. Dear readers, take it easy. I see you in La Roca Village. Oh! You’re blind in front of the first Prada’s trousers you’ve never seen in your poor life. Please, respect myself! Don’t m’empenyis, don’t emprenyis. Please, apologize to me for your incívic behavior. Vinga, va, it’s easy, say: Perdó. So, you will grumble when me and myself write about you and then I will not be sorry about it. Anyway, I never demanaré perdó for anything. Dear readers, don’t lose the North orientation, be coherent and don’t expend more money than you win later you work your fingers to the bone. Remember, you’re paying your hipoteca. Ha, ha, ha. I can see “her” on your shoulders: you’re carrying it, well decorated with the increasing interests rate, everywhere you go. Be careful these days. I can lend you money. Or, dear readers, maybe you’re low cost people? Are your furniture from IKEA? Your wear from H&M or ZARA or MANGO? And then, you’re hallucinated with Prada, Ives or Gucci? Si us cau la baba when you see me and myself driving my Porsche. Are you flying with low cost companies? So, do you know you’re contributing to the degradation of life Quality? I love the expensive cost companies, the TV and having food when I fly. Well, my solution will be to have my own private jet. Yes, you’ll see it at the airport with engraved big capital letters: LA FATXA / Her private airline. Me and myself will be in.

Dear readers, do you want alcohol? Don’t drink it, you’ll become alcoholic. Don’t eat torrons, you’ll be obese. And la carn d’olla, let for your grandmum. Take it easy, if you don’t want your cholesterol goes up. I know the best doctor in Barcelona, ask me for his phone. But, will you be able to pay his price? You can pay for it in installments or use your credit card. Ha, ha, ha.

Are you going to la missa del gall? Oh! Don’t you know it? For your info, is the missa that the Catalan and Catholic people celebrate in the nit de Nadal, exactly at midnight. Oh! Don’t you believe in God? Heretges. Desagraïts. Colla de pecadors. You’re only thinking about money and iPods and PlayStations and material things and luxury cars and having sex every night. Ja us heu confessat a la sagristia? You’re in the Highway to Heel. Ha, ha, ha. You’re the Slaves of this corrupt society. But, dear readers, we’re in Christmas time, twin our souls and sing with me and myself:

“Ara ve Nadal, fotrem fora el guiri, i la tia Pepa els encendrà un bon ciri...”. My God, las hordas de guiris are coming back home with their families, my prayer are real now. Oh! This image is tender, tender.